Saturday, December 17, 2011

December 17 Appreciate


December 17, 2011 Prompt:

Appreciate

What’s the one thing you have come to appreciate most in the past year?

Brian. 
What an amazing man. He completed his masters degree. Promptly went out and  and got a new job. A job he enjoys and that has room for advancement. And one that provides better for his family.

The thing that I appreciate about him is that he continues to provide for our family, even as it grows. He never grumbles or complains about the money we spend and the generosity that we share. 

I think about how he has stayed so steady at his jobs and how he goes in early and stays late. He works so hard to be indispensable and to do things right and above board. He has to do hard things like fire people, he doesn't like doing this but he does it anyhow.

He has always allowed me my folly. If I want us to go on a vacation he finds a way. If I want to adopt from Russia, he finds a way. If I want to do some creative new decorative thing, he is right along side providing and helping me along. When I said I want to become a Realtor he said me too! He has supported me in everything I have ever wanted to do.

I never hear this man complain about a thing. He just asks when and where and what can I do? 

His support with Edik has been amazing. Just helping me keep my sanity and stay grounded has meant the world to me. He has been willing to spend any amount of money to help him. He has fallen in love with Edik and is an amazing dad to him.

He is an adorer of his two grandsons, his heart is so beautiful  towards them, the delight he has in them is so heart warming. He thinks so highly of his sons. He cherishes every minute he has with them and wants to know them and be with them. 

Family is everything to him and he make it his priority. If we get a call from one of the kids and they want to do something or go somewhere he is ready willing an able, no matter how tired or short of notice it is. Which is so out of his character, but he will sacrifice for them.

Loving me can be difficult because I am neurotic, insecure and flighty and maybe possibly a little high maintenance. But he loves me perfectly. He finds me to be attractive and exactly what he likes. How did I luck out to be loved by such a magnificent man. I appreciate his sacrifices for me and our family. If there were ever a definitions of the perfect husband it would simply say; Brian Keyser.

December 16 Ordinary Extraordinary




December 16, 2011 Prompt:

Ordinary Extraordinary




What was one of your most extraordinary ordinary moments this year? Have you ever heard the expression "God is in the details?"
 

A year ago, we started seeing a herbalist. She is not an old, small shriveled up Chinese man but she is an experienced herbalist. Initially we were going to see her to have Edik treated. We figured with his poor nutrition and his bad living environment, it couldn't hurt, and maybe it would help his brain to heal. We had seen a friends daughter totally transformed by herbal medicine.


As she met with us and asked about our symptoms, it was mainly just foggy head and fatigue for me. Then she would ask do you get up to go to the bathroom? What time is that? If it was 2 am that would be your kidneys having issues and if it were 3 to 4 am it would be your liver. Brian has liver issues and I have had kidney issues all my life.


Herbalist, use to be in the same quack-a-gory as chiropractors. I thought it was just a way to separate a fool and their money. I was also hesitant to be included and involved in the Eastern belief system, because of my Christian belief system. I am not a fan of the ying and the yang. I want to honor my God and stay faithful to His teachings.


I decided, be it right or wrong, that if God created the heavens and the earth and everything in it and we are to subdue it. Then those whom He has gifted to understand the small plants and herbs of His creation must have been given that knowledge for the good of Gods creation. I listened to the explanations of Hayley our herbalist. It made sense to me about needing heat down in your belly so that the energy is there to digest and burn up waste. It made sense that our heads should be cooler than our hands and our feet, because then all the energy our body is producing is not just racing out our head and not going down to do the digesting and waste removal.


We take about a tablespoon of a special mixture of tiny herbs that trigger our organs to start working better. The greatest thing I have experienced is that my head feel hot fewer and fewer times. This has lifted a fog that had been over my brain, and the nervous feeling that had me feel I was always on the verge of passing out. It has given me more energy as well. I no longer spend all my time being emotionally afraid. 


Chinese medicine believes that the Kidneys hold the emotion of fear. I spent all my emotional time being afraid of this and that and everything in between, it is an exhausting way to live. I feel so much more aware of what is happening around me. My mind seems keen and clear. The clarity I have had when discussing a contract with a client has been so wonderful. I use to struggle to remember and put in order all the things that were important when discussing things with clients. Now it is all there bright and clear.


God is in the details. He has created plants that He intended for His children to eat, so they could be healthy. Our Western diet has corrupted Gods system. Now we spend our time trying to get it to work correctly again. 


The extraordinary ability to feel calm, clear headed, well organized mentally is an ordinary experience that I now have on a regular basis. Praise the Lord!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

December 15 Discovery


December 15, 2011 Prompt:

Discovery



What discovery did you make in 2011? What kind of impact did it have on how you view the world today?





This is something that I wrote for one of my writing assignment, I learned about Fetal Alcohol.

Struggling Through Life
Struggling, unaware through his life, the young boy tries to make his way. He wears a plane expression on his face. Neither interested, curious, distracted or angry, just plane. His dark brown eyes dance in their sockets not fully and smoothly tracking. But he is handsome, clean cut and has a sprinkle of acne to honestly confirm his age of 14 years.
His eyes do not really say anything. But if you ask his chiropractic Neurologist they say everything. The doctor can see the missing connections of his weak and confounded brain. Using a special pair of ridged square goggles that resemble enclosed jewelers magnifying glasses, with special video cameras focused inward towards his eyes, we can all see the crazy dance of his eyes.
The doctor spins him in an office chair, not fast and wild as a child might do but, quicker than a slow turn you might do if someone walked up behind you when you are seated at your desk. He stops the spinning boy who has his feet tucked up under him. He asks, “are you still spinning?” The boy answers, “yes.”  He is not. His eyes dance in an erratic fashion on the computer monitor. The left eye looks like it is following the line of a rapid heartbeat on a heart monitor. The right eye bounces from up and to the left to center repeatedly. This is showing us unhealthy saccades. Saccades are the movements of the eyes that allow it to take in a situation and develop it in the brain so that give understanding of their placement and of the situation. Healthy functioning brain activity would allow the eyes or the saccades to be even and level and smooth.
When a woman consumes alcohol during fetal development it is called prenatal alcohol exposure. This is possibly and arguably one of the worst exposures to a developing fetus. Exposure to drugs such as cocaine, heroin, marijuana will pass into the fetal blood supply leaving the child with the temporary high or dependency. We have all heard about the difficulty and trauma of babies being born as heroin or cocaine addicts, because of the pro-longed use by the mother. These infants have a tough start in life, they are born addicts, who will go through the physical withdrawals of these dependency drugs and have all the physical pain and internal trauma but they maybe free of the affects.
Fetuses exposed to alcohol have had the mitochondrial sheath damaged by the alcohol. Upon cell division a damaged cell will divide, repeatedly.  If something is ill formed and divides several times the wrong design is imbedded in the cells. The results are cell imperfection and then organ or system imperfection.
The brain is one of the first organs to be developing in the human construction and when there are imperfect cells compiling it due to a woman’s consumption of alcohol, damage is going to occur. The effects are called Fetal Alcohol Affected Disorder (FAAD) or Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). There is not a lot of differences in the two diagnosis other than FAAD is accompanied with facial abnormalities.
The facial abnormalities are wide set eyes, flat bridge of the nose between the eyes and a flat smooth upper lip. The facial anomalies occur during a fetus development on days 18 thru 21. They are tell tale signs of alcohol use by the mother. However, if the alcohol was consumed at any time before or after those days the effects would be less outwardly obvious and only detected in behavior and learning abilities and the admission of the mother’s prenatal use of alcohol. It is a social stigma to admit to alcohol use during pregnancy. Often times a child’s difficulties are not correctly labeled because of the mother’s unwillingness to confess to use. This results in ineffective ways of trying to help their children and the children being labeled with a variety of behavior issues.
The consumption of alcohol does not have to be great, it is a lot like Russian roulette, you put one bullet in a chamber and see if it blows your brains out when you put the gun to your head and pull the trigger. A woman has no idea which drinks if any will forever damage her fetus’s brain by leaving lesions or rather holes in the brain. But it could be a forever issue for her, the child and the family.
The lesions in the boy’s brain are in his left cerebellum and right frontal lobe. The cerebellum, controls body movement, emotion, it helps people pay attention and has to do with language. And this part of the brain is not talking to the frontal lobe, which is the executive function or the boss of the brain. It makes the decisions, it uses logic and it is our compass and allows us to understand space and time.
Imagine for a minute never knowing the proper boundary you should be to your friend vs your lover. Never knowing your proper position or placement in your surroundings. Imagine not being able to decide what is pleasurable to you, chocolate milk vs coffee and never being able to decide. Or maybe sitting in a room full of toys and not being able to decide what to play with so you do nothing. Imagine when you are asked a question, not being able to find the right combination of words to say to answer the questions. You cannot judge how long it’s going to take yourself or your friend to do something, when given an instruction you only hear every third word and then you cannot help yourself, you do the opposite of the instruction, because everything is jumbled in your mind and you have no way to logically sort it out. Imagine walking through life with a misfiring frontal lobe, a life without logic. The only thing you can do to make it through life is to learn the proper sequence or pattern of expected behaviors and when it is altered you are confused and confounded. You need an external brain to help you navigate your life.
This boy is our boy. He is a love; he can barely put a sentence together. We so want to know him, we so want him to know us. He pantomimes or mirrors normal, everything I have ever told him is parroted back to me, sometimes appropriately, like when we meet in the kitchen after we get ready for our days, “it is good morning, and did you sleep well?” I respond and regardless of the response his next inquiry is “did you have any dreams?” We had practiced those questions for 2 years before he could automatically provide them without coaching, but change the surroundings and I get nothing.
He is our prize from Russia. He is the answer to my calling. My calling came 16 years earlier while in Alaska. I fell in love with Russia and I was called by God to love the children and to one day adopt one. I had no idea it would take that long to prepare us/me for him. So a blind faith and calling did not lead me to research the ills of the Russian orphan’s plight. The ills of a country so lost in sorrow, and in the inability for most to care for themselves. In their sorrow, they resort to the abundant use of alcohol. It is a cultural standard to consume alcohol particularly Vodka, in social, family and business situations. It has been my experience if you do not participate it offends those around you. Our son was affected by his mother’s use of alcohol.
As we sit in the room with the 5th specialist we have looked to as we seek answers and methods to help our little boy, to be more like us, neurotypical, or normal brained. The doctor promises us that his methods have helped many Russian adoptees, because it is very typical for Russian adoptees to be affected by the alcohol consumption of their mothers. His methods seem like quackery, spin your son in a chair clock wise three times, three times a day.
We will try anything. The next visit, The doctor grabs those zit speckled cheeks and quickly twists his face from one shoulder to the other, watching his eyes. He sees a small improvement. I sit skeptically watching. The next exercise is looking at a diagonal line drawn on the paper with dots on it. He is to look from the bottom to the top then, let his eyes jump down from dot to dot. He must exercise his left arm because that side of his body is abnormally weak and unbalanced.
The ultimate treatment is the interactive metronome guaranteed to turn your misfiring brain into a sharp and well functioning organ. By keeping rhythm with the cow bell chiming in his headphone covered ears and clapping his censor clad hands in rhythm with the bells. This exercise is to create new neuro path ways in place of those that ran into holes previously. My fear was that it would just allow him to make bad decisions faster. The doctor promises that it will enable him to make decisions because his cerebellum will correctly fire to his frontal lobe.
It’s a lot of hope to hang on two cow bells clanging in his ears. But hope is all we have. We never dreamed we would be faced with forever being another human beings external brain. 10/2011

December 14 Home


December 14, 2011 Prompt:

Home is ...

When did you feel most at home this year: 


It always feels so good to go to Anchorage Alaska, it is home and will always be my heart is. I am so familiar with it. I can find my way around blind folded. I can still give directions using street names and businesses. 


The summer weather feels familiar, always in the 50's 60's so I can  wear a sweater or jacket. I can always count on the rain and the dark clouds over the mountains or the inlet.The views are so familiar, they feel so comfortable. I can pick out a memory from every mountain I can see. Every road I ride on and most businesses evoke some sort of recollection, I have a story for everything.


Friends and my family make me feels so at home. I could call any friend and just go hang out and enjoy their company and we would relate as though no time had passed between us. I can go to most well populated business or events and see at least 2 or 3 people I know, and I have not lived there in 16 years. Lori and Bruce are the most familiar and dearest friends. Getting together with my brothers and their families is like never having left them, loving them and learning about them is a continual endeavor, and most enjoyable.


Its a place that never changes for me, my memories and the good feelings remain in my mind and heart. 


My home in Oregon is only my home because of the peace that it brings because of the shelter from outside stress. I love my family being around me and joining with me, in the comfort of my personalized surroundings. I love everything I have done to my house to make it a home. I love the feelings of the colors and furniture and the pictures on the wall. Everything I have created and done to make it a place for my grandsons makes it feel even more like home. 


So I have two homes the one I left and long to be back at. And the one that I live in with the ones that I love.

Tuesday, December 13, 2011

December 13 Best Gift


December 13, 2011 Prompt:

Best Gift


What was the best gift you gave yourself this year? 

I guess the secret would be out if I told what the best gift I gave myself is. Not sure I can divulge this. 

I often times think the best gifts I give myself is when I please someone else. It is a rare thing and something that I set myself up for failure in doing. But I still do it.

I always like to come up with a great gift for people I care about. I loved the fused glass plate I made for Amy, with the cut out of Africa and a heart where Ethiopia is. I loved giving Andy his IPad, I was thrilled to give him something that he really wanted. 

But taking care of myself, I think I do a pretty good job at that. Gifting myself massages this spring pretty darn good. Working out every morning is a wonderful gift. Choosing to be loved and to love others is a really good feeling as well.

But the best gift I gave me last year was going to the (I can not spell the word and can't find the correct spelling but here it is....Es-ta-ti-tion).  So when I went, I paid very close attention to what she was doing. Then I went out and bought all the stuff she used so I could do it at home. So now I have the acid peal that she used to remove age spots, and lines. I also have the special UV light she used to regenerate collagen. So probably more secret than I should have shared but I think its fun. I also do acid peals on Edik to try and clear up the acne. I just started doing this. 

If I had the freedom to be retrained in a career, I would choose caring for skin. I think it would be fun to help people feel better about themselves and to slow down the aging process. There, two of my big secrets are out.


December 12 12/12


December 12, 2011 Prompt:

12 in 12

Take today to talk about 12 things you would like to accomplish in 2012. 


1.Learn Russian
2.loose 12 lb.
3. Exercise 6 days a week for an hour
4.Take the dogs to the field 3X week
5. Go on a date once a week with my husband
6. Go to Italy
7. Go to Alaska
8. Go to Hawaii
9. Retire from Real Estate
10. Find some friends
11. Make sure every one I love hears it often
12. Finish the back yard

December 11 Best Meal


December 11, 2011 Prompt:

Best Meal

What is the best meal or best food that you have eaten all year? 



A story about my favorite sandwich;


Good food and a gracious cook can lead to being unceremoniously removed from a perfect living situation if you are not careful. One thoughtless comment about a fabulous dining creation is a dangerous utterance. When you are a freeloader who is clueless to all socially acceptable behavior and you are living among civilized people there is bound to be misunderstandings, and questionable behavior. Regardless of your unique inability to live with others, when a culinary sensation is being raved about by your host you should be in agreement.
Let me set the table so to speak. We heard of a  young man who attended OIT and  was doing an internship at ADEC the local largest employer here in our home town, of Newberg, Or.  He was from Greshem Or. and felt it would be a rather lengthy and costly commute to Newberg daily. He was looking for a place to stay free or cheap. He came from a rather large family and money was tight so, we were feeling generous, we had a nice home and room to spare so why not help out a kid who is trying to get a head, we would want someone to extend that generosity to our kids.
The agreement was he could live here for free if he would take care of our two, beautiful, like one of the  family, standard poodles, when we went to Spokane for  a week for our sons college graduation. Turns out he is afraid of the dogs, hates the dogs, refused to let them in the house, and could not bring himself to touch the raw chicken that they are fed. I brought in another house sitter for that week, much to our house guests surprise at a bonus cost to me of two hundred dollars.
We made numerous accommodations for him; cleared out space in the garage for his bike, finished a guest house in the back yard, which he promptly told me he would not have painted it the soft yellow color I had chosen, nor would he have put an entire wall of dry erase board in the structure. Ok opinions are good to have. We left our back door unlocked for him to gain access to our home. He used my sewing machines, no one is ever allowed to touch my sewing machines or my sewing scissors, but I graciously granted him permission. He was making jeans. He made jeans no bigger than a 34 inch waste but they were custom designed and he had a target market in mind. Skinny ass boys if you ask me but that did not matter to me. No one in our family has worn smaller than a 36 in the past 7 year.
There were other things, he wanted; an air conditioner for the guest house, no problem we can accommodate, if we were lucky we could find a narrow one that would fit the window. No such luck we would have to buy a free standing one. They run about $300. He was ok contributing half if we were to purchase a $100 unit, but he was not interested in contributing toward the expensive one. Mind you he is making $10 an hour working 40 hr a weeks and not paying any kind of room and board. You might think out of a sense of gratitude he might want to contribute. We chalk it up to immaturity; we are willing to accommodate him.
He loved to sing, he would bring out his guitar and sing beautifully, it was calming, much like when David played for King Saul, I truly enjoyed it during waking hours. But he also sang at the top of his lungs, at 7am as he was getting ready to leave for work, he had a beautiful voice, but it was 7 am. We politely asked him to take into consideration those still sleeping in the house. He came home at 11 pm and did the same vocalization; once again, we had to ask in to refrain from singing.

The La- Z- Boy chairs are focused directly in front of our big screen HD TV. These are “mom and dad’s” chairs, yes we have the best seats in the house, we own the house and we bought the chairs so why shouldn’t they be there? We ask you to respect that they are our chairs and not sit in them. This was the discussion that we had prior to his moving in. There are two couches and a plush glider rock in the same room as our chairs. Either of those sitting arrangement are comfortable and not ours, so make yourself comfortable, enjoy! But where did I find our house guest every time I came home? His size 32 plunked in my chair, with my purple La-Z-boy pulled forward 3 feet and a plate of food, that I had cooked earlier, placed in his lap. No one eats in my chair but me! But I was willing to tolerate I mean accommodate.
Food preparation was something I worked hard at, two months of being a contentious cook and preparing meals that were balanced per the government standards I was really getting in the groove. For the first time in years, there was a meal on the table, or served up buffet style every night. Always including a lean meat, two vegetables, a starch be it a grain or flour product, it was there. Several times our guest requested or hinted could you maybe make some more vegetables, you might want to add some spinach to this, or you might want to have some broccoli with that.  There was an aggressive attempt to make a fare that had plenty vegetables and was sumptuous and low calorie so as to enable that 32 inch waste to remain, who knows maybe we could benefit too, I was willing to accommodate.
But the meal in reference was a wonderful night of creation. Winco grocery in Tigard, sells a fantastic roasted garlic deli turkey. The rich savory flavor was something I had never experienced, so flavorful, distinct in all flavors, salty turkey, pepper, and garlic, so tender and juicy, it made your mouth water. They also sell a wonderful, firm, pink Italian roast beef deli meat. The mingling flavors of rosemary and basil is exciting. With the desire to be creative and blend the flavors of some of my favor things I created a sandwich that I felt was outstanding. Fresh tender Cibatta bread, sliced through the middle horizontally opened up to show its tender holy sides, so butter could be bathed over it, then pushed in the oven to warm up so it would be ready to receive the meat. Then there was a succulent layer of garlic turkey, an aromatic layer of Italian roast beef. Caprazia inspired alternation of thin sliced fresh vine ripe tomato, sliced fresh tender, water packed, mozzarella and fresh from the plant, basil leaves. Gently placing the side’s together completing the sandwich.
Our house guest was not home once again, at dinner time to receive my heart filled creation. So there was a selfish debate in my mind that then it slipped out my mouth. Should I cut this loaf in fourths or thirds? It looks and smelled so fresh and good, I was leaning to the thirds. But in an effort to accommodate, I cut it in fourths. We sat down in our respective chairs in front of the TV, and sunk our teeth into my creation. Spilling out of the corners of our mouths were raves of how incredible, delicious, amazing and wonderful this tasted. It truly was a new creation that would make a repeat visit to my kitchen. I had made a hit and that did not happen often.
Upon our guest late return, he sheepishly and rather effeminately asked if the remaining sandwich was for him. In my cheeriest June Cleaver voice I chimed, “yes it is, I think you are going to enjoy this, it is really out of this world”.  He made his plate and joined us, we were still raving about how amazing this sandwich tasted. A simple inquiry of his opinion on the sandwich invoked a sense of indignation in me. His response was, it is ok, but I think it needs some sort of crunch, I think I will add some cucumber.” He stood up to walk in to the kitchen.
This was the last straw, I had run out of accommodation. I could not imagine trying to please this ungrateful person for a minute longer. I told my husband he must go, tonight! The notice was given for him to be gone by 4pm Saturday. He had the nerve to ask if he could stay until Sunday evening. He had no idea what he had done, and I think that was pretty much the problem for the past 2 months and I could not stomach another minute of it.

Monday, December 12, 2011


December 10, 2011 Prompt:

High/Low

Today is a bit of a choose your own adventure: write (paint, draw, photograph, record, etc.) about your best experience this year.


Best experience that's easy; it's having a second grandchild come into my world. Having that adorable little man in our family is an incredibly wonderful event. The day I held Eli for the first time, when he was so tiny, the tiniest baby I had ever held, and to see him looking back at me with Peters little face was one of those once in a lifetime, full circle events. I saw that little face and thought how did my little baby, grow up and give me one of these! 


So the best events that took place this year were the times my grand children came to visit me and the times I got to visit them at their home. Any day with those two little jewels  in my life is heart warming.The day at the Oregon Zoo, sitting on the green lawn watching Mal play and enjoy his freedom, then the surprise arms wide open hug that he gave me was somehow the punctuation of knowing he loved me, now every hug I get from him seems to fill me up with that sense of being so innocently loved and it makes all the difficulties of everyday life feel meaningless.