Thursday, January 31, 2008

Third Trip to Russia




Nursing the pink eye that I obtained on the first trip to Russia we start our journey back for our final two weeks to get our new son. Mid November is cold in Russia but not too cold, over dressed in cashmere and wool but non the less I was warm.


The process for getting Edik was long and a lot of waiting. We went to several government agencies and then we would wait.


Not having any language skills at all we did a lot of acting out things and pointing at things. Edik always had something in his hand or maybe two or three things. He managed to snag two small cars from the orphanage plus a spider man action figure. These were constant things in his hands. He had a hard time putting on his coat sometimes due to the full fist.


Now that we have been home he has been able to express just how afraid he was when he was in Pskov. It is very hard to imagine allowing yourself to go with strangers in hope of a life. I can not even imagine what that would feel like. I think most of the time he would just check out and go to a safe imaginary place in his mind. He spent lots of time in fantasy play with the action figure. He talked to it in Russian and whispered things.


We did a lot of fun things. The Moscow Circus was amazing. The Walrus and Camel act were memorable and something you would never imagine seeing. Great huge walrus lumbering around a circus ring, it was fascinating.
The amazing thing I found about Moscow was that it was mainly built in the 1950's but everything was ornate and magnificent and looked like it was old. I had to keep reminding myself about its age.
Our interpreter was an amazing woman, who had lived through the hard years of the early 90's during the fall of communism. Fascinating to hear a Russians perspective of what had happened. It all made sense to me and I finally understood history.
Now looking back I can see how frustrating things were for poor Edik not understanding what we wanted or were trying to say to him and just how frighting it would be. He wanted so to please us and he tried so hard and did so well.
He did some bizarre things that made no sense at the time but now I see that he had just never had any training in the manner. He wandered off at the Circus and he would not hold our hand when we were on the streets and he had a lot of attitude. We had a hard time trying to understand if he was being stubborn, never having any training on safety, testing us or what, but he had a lot more attitude in Russia. He insisted on walking through the doors first and we decided that he needed to treat me with respect and so we made him open the doors for us, it took about a month to learn that. Now today April 16, 2008 he knows that I am important and he holds the doors open for me.
He was so brave to let us help him take a bath and shower and he was not ashamed but he also liked his privacy. What an odd thing to trust strangers with helping you.
He did not want to play with play dough, or draw or color in a coloring book. Now he enjoys all of those things. He was very sensitive to touch and taste and texture of foods. We had one battle in the Elki Pelki where he wanted dessert and we tried to tell him to choose an entree but he did not understand. He got upset and we held him and said we loved him and that he was ok. But we did not give in. When we got home to the appartment I made him dinner and affermed how much we loved him. It was the beginning.
What a great Journey and there is so much more!