December Day 3 Looking Back

#resound11 Prompt 03: Virtues

 What personal virtues we discovered in 2011.

What good have you done in 2011? Where do you really shine? What have you done that makes you proud of yourself?

I am a proud lover of ex-orphans! I love my son with my whole heart, as if he came from me, and I am giving him the best that I have, and the best that I can get for him. I am loving him even if he can't love back. Apart from God there is now way to do this, with God making a way there is no way to fail. 

I am a lover of Malachi, who I can't even imagine having been an orphan. It feels like he is the key that opened this grandma's heart. I am proud of how I wholeheartedly love both my grandsons they are the fizz in my heart that just keep the love bubbling out for them and everyone else, they have kind of re-stirred the love that had sunk to the bottom and now its bubbling out all over the place. Kind of hard to contain it!

But being a lover of orphans is easy so is that really something to be proud of myself, not sure about that, but I get to write it down, and be happy that I can.

I have made contact with the people who were robbed in Newberg and have reach out my hand to be their friends, and to help provide their kids with a special Christmas. I am proud of me for having the follow through to do that!

I am proud of me that  in business I remain honest, fair and work with integrity in all situations. Our office is collecting peanut butter for F.I.S.H. I pray for our leaders of our country, I committed to prayer and fasting this year. 

I have not been slothful and lazy but have been a hard honest worker of my life and my business. No slacking for me!

December Day 2 Vices

#resound11 Prompt 02: Vices

Yesterday we summed up 2011 in one word. Today we're going to talk about vices.

Vice - immoral habit, depravity, prostitution, gambling, drugs, mild  failing in character, in place  of.

When you put it that way I don't have any vices. There is nothing that holds me hostage, and makes me twitchy and anxious if I don't do it or have it. No there is nothing that is a compulsion to me, no obsessive thing I must have to feel whole and good. Well maybe just one "in place of" thing. 

I would rather replace working, cleaning, shopping, interaction with some people, cooking a full blown balanced meal, sitting and play a board game with Edik or going and playing catch with the dogs with..... Facebook. But is that really a vice? You betcha  it is. A substitute  is a vice. I will work on it in 2012...na that's a mild failing in character to say that...I have no intention of giving up Facebook.  Maybe it will treat me like Meth, and I will loose 50lb and get really wired and a menace to society. Doubtful but it will keep me mildly happy and entertained.

December Day 1 One Word

#resound11

Prompt 01: One Word

What is one word to describe your 2011? Why does that word sum up your year? 

Acceptance  - Acceptance is one word and it is the word I see summing up  2011. Acceptance and tolerance may go hand in hand. When I accept something or someone, generally there is a level of tolerance for what it is that I accept. Acceptance does not have to mean a joyful receiving. It can sometimes just mean that we are OK with the way things are, be it good or bad. 

I have learned or been broken down enough to realize I may never change some of the situations around me in my life and I might as well accept them for what they are an be OK with them. I have found that great peace follows this act. 

In this new trying stage of accepting the things I can not change (no reference to AA in that statement) I do find my self still longing for things to be different. However, I am no longer fighting myself or others to make them so.

Things I have accepted this year:

My son is who he is and he is not going to change. Even with all the help we get him, he is still going to be where he is at because of what has played out in his life.  I like him, I like that he has a different view on the world. A very simple and literal view on the world. The more I accept and understand that the easier our relationship is.

I have accepted that  Andy may live in our home for another year and a half and 3 weeks and 2 days and 16 hours and 23 min. But I accept that and embrace that it is more time with someone who is fun, funny a matched step to my likes and an all around wonderful person. He is the comic relief to a difficult situation I find myself in, I enjoy the diversion. He will get a full time job when he gets one.

Accepting Peter has a whole complete life full of other wonderful thing and people is another part of letting go. I can still feel the tug of that not wanting to let go. But there are just a few people in my life I like to have around constantly and they were born to me, but they must go and start their own lives, after all my parental goal was to teach up independence. I accept this but its one of those accepting of the bitter feeling, not bitter as in angry or mad but bitter as in you just swallowed some bile and it taste bad. Not something you wanted but it just happened naturally.

I accept that my business is fading and that I am emotionally and physically on the way out. It is still fun, and I love the interaction with people and I will miss it but I think it is something I have done, conquered and am satisfied with what I accomplished and can happily leave it. I have one more success that I need to complete and that will have been a 10 year process and that is to find Carol and Doug a new home. 

I accept the fact that I am dearly loved by my husband, and this is what keeps me going forward.