Prompt 01: One Word
What is one word to describe your 2011? Why does that word sum up your year?
Acceptance - Acceptance is one word and it is the word I see summing up 2011. Acceptance and tolerance may go hand in hand. When I accept something or someone, generally there is a level of tolerance for what it is that I accept. Acceptance does not have to mean a joyful receiving. It can sometimes just mean that we are OK with the way things are, be it good or bad.
I have learned or been broken down enough to realize I may never change some of the situations around me in my life and I might as well accept them for what they are an be OK with them. I have found that great peace follows this act.
In this new trying stage of accepting the things I can not change (no reference to AA in that statement) I do find my self still longing for things to be different. However, I am no longer fighting myself or others to make them so.
Things I have accepted this year:
My son is who he is and he is not going to change. Even with all the help we get him, he is still going to be where he is at because of what has played out in his life. I like him, I like that he has a different view on the world. A very simple and literal view on the world. The more I accept and understand that the easier our relationship is.
I have accepted that Andy may live in our home for another year and a half and 3 weeks and 2 days and 16 hours and 23 min. But I accept that and embrace that it is more time with someone who is fun, funny a matched step to my likes and an all around wonderful person. He is the comic relief to a difficult situation I find myself in, I enjoy the diversion. He will get a full time job when he gets one.
Accepting Peter has a whole complete life full of other wonderful thing and people is another part of letting go. I can still feel the tug of that not wanting to let go. But there are just a few people in my life I like to have around constantly and they were born to me, but they must go and start their own lives, after all my parental goal was to teach up independence. I accept this but its one of those accepting of the bitter feeling, not bitter as in angry or mad but bitter as in you just swallowed some bile and it taste bad. Not something you wanted but it just happened naturally.
I accept that my business is fading and that I am emotionally and physically on the way out. It is still fun, and I love the interaction with people and I will miss it but I think it is something I have done, conquered and am satisfied with what I accomplished and can happily leave it. I have one more success that I need to complete and that will have been a 10 year process and that is to find Carol and Doug a new home.
I accept the fact that I am dearly loved by my husband, and this is what keeps me going forward.
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